Belonging isn’t optional. It’s core to being human.

For people with intellectual and developmental disabilities (IDD), belonging shapes confidence, independence, and quality of life. It influences friendships, jobs, self-advocacy, and emotional health. But social growth doesn’t appear on its own. It has to be built: small steps, repeated often, in places where a person feels safe.

Families know this. They want their loved ones to make friends, feel included, and participate fully in the world. But the path isn’t always clear. Daily routines, communication differences, and limited community support can make social development harder than it should be.

The good news? Social growth is a teachable skill. It starts long before someone enters a classroom, day program, or job site. It begins at home, then expands into the community, gaining strength with every consistent, positive experience.

Let’s break down how families and communities can work together to build a true sense of belonging.

The Long-Term Power of Social Growth

Social skills shape far more than conversations. They guide how a person navigates choices, sets boundaries, solves problems, and builds relationships.

A strong social foundation leads to:

😊 Better emotional regulation

⬆ More independence in daily life

👍 Higher self-esteem

👥 Stronger community participation

🤝 More success in work or volunteer roles

And just like any other skill - cooking, exercising, or crossing the street - people grow socially when families model communication, create predictable routines, and provide opportunities for real-world interaction.

This foundation starts at home.

Starting at Home: Routines That Build Confidence

Social development doesn’t begin with a big leap. It begins with small, predictable routines.

Predictable rhythms lower anxiety. When someone knows what comes next (who they’ll see, where they’ll go, what the plan is), they’re more willing to communicate and engage.

Role-play builds readiness.
Families can practice everyday moments:

🍽 Ordering food

👋 Greeting neighbors

🙋 Asking for help

🚫 Saying “no”

🗣 Joining a conversation

This kind of rehearsal creates familiarity, which builds confidence.

Safe risk-taking strengthens independence.
Trying something new teaches problem-solving. The key is safety without over-protection. Support, but don’t shield. Guide, but don’t block.

Small responsibilities shape identity.
Helping with chores, setting the table, bringing in the mail all reinforce purpose. Contribution is social. It tells a person, “You matter here.”

These home-based habits make community participation less intimidating and more approachable.

Stepping Into the Community With Confidence

Once routines at home feel strong, families can begin widening the circle.

The goal isn’t to push someone into uncomfortable situations. It’s to build momentum: one familiar place or predictable pattern at a time.

Here’s what works:

Start small.
Visit the same place each week. Same time. Same routine. Predictability builds trust, while familiarity allows for comfort. When someone is comfortable, they are more likely to participate socially.

Look for community anchors.
Many places welcome individuals with IDD even if they don’t explicitly advertise it:

💪 Local gyms

📚 Libraries

🛐 Faith communities

🎨 Art studios

🏅 Adaptive recreation groups

🌿 Parks and nature centers

🏬 Small businesses

Use scaffolded experiences.
Begin with observation. Encourage learning through the examples of others.

Build with participation. Find opportunities where small, low-risk social situations allow for participation within their comfort level.

Aim for independence. As small interactions lead to larger ones, encouragement and support are key - but make sure to keep the end goal of greater independence in mind.

Remember - growth comes in layers, not leaps. Learning social skills can take years of practice. However, consistent progress and effort over time will make a difference.

Celebrate small wins.
A wave to a cashier. A shared smile. Choosing an item independently. These moments stack up. Over time, they become the building blocks of belonging.

When communities show up with intention, people with IDD find their footing faster.

Where Communities Can Do Better

Many communities think inclusion means access. But access is the bare minimum.

Real inclusion requires:

📄 Clear instructions

🕓 Predictable routines

✅ Sensory-considerate environments

🫶 Staff who understand communication differences

☝ Leadership opportunities for people with IDD

👨 Friendly faces who greet people consistently

These elements turn a space into a relationship.

Communities don’t always need special programs to be more inclusive. They need structure, warmth, and awareness. When they offer that, individuals with IDD don’t just participate. They thrive.

Families feel the difference, too. They feel welcomed. They feel supported. They feel connected.

How Providers and Tools Fit In

Families aren’t the only ones supporting social growth. Providers play a huge role.

But here’s the challenge: social progress is often invisible. It’s easy to miss a communication breakthrough or a moment of independence if staff don’t have time to write it down.

That’s why thoughtful tracking matters.

Forward-thinking providers are building social goals into service plans and documenting progress in real time. They’re noting interactions, communication attempts, peer engagement, and confidence-building moments. When providers use technology to help them focus on individuals, not paperwork, these moments multiply.

Similar to other forms of skill development, communication and social progress is being tracked closer than ever. When social development is measured, it becomes a priority.

What Families Can Do Right Now

You don’t need a perfect plan to build belonging. You just need consistent steps that match the individual’s goals.

Start here:

❓ Ask your provider how they support social skill development.

🔄 Request simple updates about your loved one’s engagement and interactions.

👨‍✈️ Role-play daily situations at home.

🌄 Visit familiar community spots each week.

☀ Look for warm, predictable environments where your loved one feels safe.

🎉 Celebrate small wins, even tiny ones.

These actions compound over time. They build confidence, reduce anxiety, and make social interaction feel less like a challenge and more like an opportunity.

Closing Thought

Belonging is important for everyone, especially those with I/DD. 

It grows through routines, practice, safe exploration, and supportive environments. Families lay the foundation. Communities expand it. Providers reinforce it. And with the right tools and planning, individuals with I/DD can step into the world with confidence.

Because social growth isn’t about being outgoing. It’s about being connected: to people, to purpose, and to a community that sees your worth.

When we build that together, belonging becomes possible for everyone.

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This post was originally submitted to and published by Exceptional Parent Magazine in their December 2025 Edition.